It's Not Just Eddie Today
by lawslave
Summary: My take on how we went from a hug under the bridge to an engagement announcement at Sunday Dinner. Warning: Season 8 finale spoilers.
1. The Proposal

_Wow! It has been a really long time since I posted anything on here! Sadly, my muse for BB fanfic disappeared for a long time. But that season 8 finale really got me going! I've only watched the end of that episode about a hundred times and I love it even more every time I see it. But it got me wondering how they went from that hug under the bridge to being engaged and reciting vows at the dinner table. The BB writers finally gave the Jamko fans what they wanted, but never did I expect an engagement this soon. Although, I think I understand why._

 _So here's my take on what I've estimated is the few days between the Sorrento shooting and Sunday Dinner. Enjoy and review if you can. I'd love to know what you all think happened during that time._

It's Not Just Eddie Today

Jamie sat hunched over on the cold, hard steps leading up to Eddie's apartment building, glancing up and down the dimly lit sidewalks for what seemed like the millionth time since he decided to park himself out front to wait for his partner to come home. Jamie lifted his wrist to check his watch, wondering where Eddie could be at this hour. He was normally a patient man, but all of this waiting had him on edge, as evidenced by the nervous jiggling of his left leg. He was also doing his damndest to ignore the part of his brain telling him where Eddie had chosen to be right now, or more importantly, with whom, but was beginning to lose that battle the longer he sat there.

He thought back to earlier in the day and let out a heavy sigh. Jamie had come close to losing his life today, so close he still wondered how a hired gunman had managed to miss him with his first shot from so close (not that he was complaining). He believed in guardian angels and he sure as hell had three of them watching over him today. But he couldn't forget that he also had a partner who through some miracle, some sort of sixth sense and a lot of quick action had prevented him from taking additional shots from Sorrento.

One second Jamie was getting shot at in the RMP, the next he's looking into Eddie's crystal blue eyes and seeing his future. And then suddenly, he and Eddie were clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it.

Maybe they did.

 _I'd_ _spend the five million on you._

The rest of the day passed in a blur after he and Eddie had been able to finally let go of each other. He didn't know how long they held each other. They were already surrounded by 2 patrol units when they broke apart and more were arriving at mach speed with lights and sirens blaring, most certainly from civilian calls to 911 reporting the officer-involved shooting. The questions came left and right – Are you guys alright? What happened? Anyone else hurt? – all the while other officers glanced into the BMW 7 Series and at its lone occupant to confirm what they already knew.

The interrogations continued and their responses came automatically in between the quick glances they shared each time they were pulled farther apart - first by colleagues, then by superior officers who demanded sit reps. Soon, they were forced into the back of ambulances for a once over by EMS to confirm that they were in fact unharmed. Not that it saved them the hassle of forced trips to the nearest ER for trauma checks per SOP after an officer-involved shooting – Eddie because she'd shot the perp dead and Jamie because he'd been the target of an assassination attempt.

Jamie hadn't seen Eddie since then and his desire to have her within arm's reach again became more maddening with each passing second. Instead, he received a full exam by the ER doc, a visit by his very relieved father to confirm that the reports of his well-being had not been grossly exaggerated before quickly being whisked off by his DCPI to deal with the press. Finally, he was lucky enough to be escorted back to the 12th Precinct with his sergeant after the doctor cleared him, only to spend the next few hours with the borough shooting team where he was fully debriefed and repeatedly told how lucky he'd been that day.

No shit, Sherlock.

His frequent queries as to his partner went mostly unanswered in that he was only told that she must be doing the same thing he was, just somewhere else. That wasn't good enough for him, not today, but he had no choice but to go through the process until he was dismissed.

Once he was free, he came up empty handed in his search for Eddie, only to be told by the desk sergeant on shift that she had been sent home 30 minutes before he came asking.

His calls to her went unanswered and so did his texts. That made Jamie nervous, but also more determined to find her. So here he sat. He thought back to the words and the deep, soul-searching looks they'd traded under the bridge earlier in the day and wondered if that had been nothing more than a momentary glimpse of the feelings Eddie had once declared for him, the same ones she claimed to do everything she could to forget. Had he imagined it all? Or had he rejected her once too often that they could only reappear in flashes after life and death experiences?

Jamie was sure that he caught more than a glimpse today, just like the countless other times when even he questioned his sanity in keeping his feelings for Eddie behind lock and key…like after she had been shot - one of the most terrifying moments of his life. Or when he'd swooped in to pick her up from the hospital only to find Barry back in the picture. Or after the infant kidnapping case when she needed him, because Barry just wouldn't get her like he did.

Because they went through it together.

Because they just _got_ each other, knew each other inside out, loved each other...

"Hey."

Jamie was so lost in thought, the soft greeting startled him. But the sight of his partner standing a few feet in front of him looking tired and nervous and beautiful as always quickly sent him to his feet. "Hi," he greeted her back. "I, uh, I was looking for you."

"I saw your calls," Eddie acknowledged awkwardly as she slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "And your texts."

 _Yet you didn't respond_ , he worried internally. Jamie prayed he wasn't about to be sent home like she had done recently, but he felt determined today to be completely honest with her, more than he had in the past. "I was hoping you'd come home after they were done with you at the precinct," he said. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Eddie readjusted the strap of her bag against her shoulder as she looked Jamie in the eyes and wondered why he was really here. "I wanted to, but I had something I really needed to do first," she hedged.

Jamie tilted his head, silently asking what that something was.

Eddie swallowed thickly, unknowingly feeling the same determination as her partner to finally put it all out there for him. "I went to see Barry," she said, eyeing him closely for his reaction.

"Oh," Jamie responded as he nervously slid his own hands back into his jacket pockets, needing to look away at her admission. Heart pounding, he began to think that maybe he'd been right - what he thought he saw in her eyes, felt as she clung to him on the street, was gone… a momentary lapse in judgment after a near death experience.

 _I'd spend the five million on you._

Eddie wondered if that was disappointment or just disapproval she saw on his face. She didn't think Jamie cared for Barry, especially after he dumped her because she talked about her partner too much. Whichever it was, Eddie was about to find out.

"After everything today," Eddie began.

Jamie looked back at his partner, drawn to the raw emotion in her voice.

"I didn't want to lie anymore…not to him or to you," she continued, pausing to take deep, cleansing breath. "Especially to myself."

Jamie nodded silently as he chewed on his lower lip, feeling the exact same way.

"I'm in love with you, Jamie," Eddie declared as her eyes misted over. A small laugh burst from her lips at the sound of those words and the shock on her partner's face. She was stunned as well; Eddie never thought she'd hear herself say those words out loud. "I do. I love you," she nodded. "It took what happened today to know that I can't let go of my feelings for you and move forward like it doesn't exist."

Jamie did just as he'd done earlier in the day and held her stare, unable to speak after she said the words he dreamed of saying right back to her.

When he said nothing, Eddie continued, "I can't pretend that I don't for the sake of our partnership anymore, no matter how much I don't want to stop riding with you. Your partnership, Jamie, means everything to me. But there could be so much more," she explained as her expression changed. Eddie was determined to be tough, she could take whatever he was going to say in response, but she needed to know once and for all. And not just the 'I have feelings for you too,' that she'd gotten from him before. "So I need to know - right now - I need to hear from you whether you do too," she ordered with a nervous swallow.

Jamie gazed into her eyes, unable to decide what to say first. His heart stuttered when Eddie began to worry her bottom lip, clearly nervous over how he would respond. _How could she not know_ , he thought for a split second before he admonished himself. _Because you always pushed her away when you could have moved closer._ Jamie took his own fortifying breath and took Eddie's hands into his own. "I wish I could…," he trailed off as he tried sorting the thoughts in his head.

"What?" Eddie squeaked, prodding him along when nothing else came, preparing herself for letdown.

Jamie smiled shyly, gently rubbing her tense hands with his thumbs. "I wish I could say when it happened," he said softly.

It was Eddie's turn to look at him quizzically.

"When I fell in love with you," he clarified.

Eddie's eyes filled with tears all over again and a soft sob escaped from her mouth as the stress of the day melted from her body.

Jamie took another step closer and brought her hands to his chest as a flash of mischief spread across his face. "I don't think it was our first tour together when you almost ran over that pedestrian in front of the 12th," he joked.

"I did not," Eddie laughed incredulously.

"Or all of the times that you made fun of what I eat," Jamie added.

"I still do," she reminded him. "You're like a rabbit. You need to eat real food."

Jamie smiled as Eddie slid her hands from his only to place them against his chest. "Or when you tell me what to do and make plans without consulting with me," he said.

"Alright already!" Eddie exclaimed with a playful slap of his chest.

Jamie chuckled, thinking that maybe it was her smile he fell in love with. He took a second to get serious and went on to say, "I think it was all the times that you've shown the me and world that you have more strength and courage than they'd ever expect to see. When you've let your guard down a bit and trusted me to lead the way. When you've stood your ground and shown me that I can trust you too. You make me laugh, you keep me on my toes. You're the first person I want to see everyday," he recited while bringing his forehead down to meet hers. "That's not even getting into how ridiculously beautiful you are," he added in a sultry voice.

"Stop it," Eddie blushed, but it melted her heart to hear him say that.

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie and held her tight. He knew this was where he belonged. "I always have been in love with you, Eddie. But I wouldn't admit it to myself or anyone else because I couldn't stand the thought of someone else calling himself your partner. I was afraid to lose you if you didn't feel the same, so I went with just being your partner and your friend. But I'll always have your back, Eddie, both on and off the job. And I've never been more certain than I am today that you will too. And I'm ready to take that next step too."

That was more than Eddie expected to hear but they were the most beautiful words she'd ever heard. That, combined with nearly losing him today, had her in tears, but it didn't stop her from going up on her tippy-toes to meet him halfway for a kiss. It started off as soft and sweet but quickly became heated and passionate, both desperate to make up for lost time.

They parted, both panting at the intensity of the kiss. The smiles they shared spoke of what was to come in the future.

Jamie cleared his throat, forcing himself to look away from Eddie's swollen lips before he was tempted to go in for more. "But there is one thing I wanted to talk to you about…," he said as a distraction. Now that they had declared their love for each other, there were a lot of decisions that needed to be made.

"What's that?"

"The lawyer in me wants to know where and why it says we can't do this," he started with a gentle squeeze of his arms, "and ride together too." Call him crazy, but it couldn't hurt to look. There could even be a way around it. At least that was what Jamie was going with for now. Rule or no rule, he knew his father would not approve of them being involved in a romantic relationship AND remaining partners and maybe the fact that he'd been at odds with Frank Reagan and his expectations of his career path as of late had something to do with Jamie wanting to know what the rule clearly stated.

Eddie leaned back and furrowed her brow at her partner like he was crazy to think he could get around NYPD procedure. "It's a rule," she pointed out, but also thought of Frank Regan and doing anything that would rock the boat with their ultimate boss.

"But do you know what rule it is - specifically? Like in which guide book?" Jamie countered.

Eddie opened her mouth to reply in the affirmative, but had to pause when she realized that she'd couldn't say that she had ever seen the rule or tell him where to find it. "Well…," she stalled as she continued to wracked her brain for an answer...it had to exist somewhere. "I guess not," she surrendered. But it's what we've been told since we were in the academy, Jamie."

"You're right about that. But, again, where does it comes from?" he questioned.

"I can't honestly say. It just is," she offered.

"But is it?" Jamie asked. He was determined to find a way.

Eddie chuckled as she pulled out of his arms and wondered if their stunning admissions had left him a little loopy. "Jamie, even if you found some way to argue this, there's no way your dad would," she said.

Jamie interrupted her, able to easily read her mind and he understood her concern. "Would let us stay together in the precinct, much less the car?" He reached for her hand, hoping she would hear him out. "Dad's the type of guy that follows the rules. But again, what if there isn't a rule to follow, Eddie? I'm just saying we look into it and see what the rules really are instead of just accepting the same line we hear every one of our bosses spew out as gospel. I mean, it's not the first time we've questioned the brass, right?" he pleaded with a smirk, knowing how often they got themselves in hot water for questioning superiors and disobeying orders.

Eddie smiled, unable to disagree with his last statement. "So what do we do?" she asked, ready to help out. Her curiosity was piqued and if there was a way for them to stay together, she was willing to try. Not that she thought there was a way around it, but Jamie looked so hopeful...it was contagious and cute and who was she to burst his bubble?

"We both got a few days off, right?" Jamie said as he kissed the back of her hand and gazed intently into her eyes. He didn't want to be anywhere Eddie wasn't and if she was willing, he wanted to spend their free time basking in this new aspect of their relationship.

"I know a couple of ways we can spend the time," he whispered. Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek, hungry for another taste of her lips.

As eager as Eddie was for another kiss and the unspoken promise for so much more, she realized one thing: they were still out in public. "Alright, Romeo," she giggled at his disappointment when she placed a finger against his lips to derail his mission. "Even though you and I seem to have a thing for making out in front of my building," she began, referencing the very first kiss they shared, "I think it's best if time we moved this inside."

"That's a fantastic idea, Janko," Jamie grinned as he slid one arm around her shoulders and guided her up the stairs. He kissed her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and realized the tremendous weight he'd been carrying - a torch for his partner - was finally gone.

Now they just had a few more hurdles to get through.

* * *

Sunday Morning

Eddie finished reading the copy of the NYPD's sexual harassment policy before turning her head to look Jamie square in the eyes. "Are you sure, Reagan? Not that I doubt that Harvard brain of yours but….are you sure?" she asked, settling back against him. They had been comfortably positioned on his couch drinking coffee and discussing his findings after he spent hours researching the department's alleged no-fraternization rule.

"Yes, Eddie," Jamie nodded, having enjoyed doing the research and coming up with answers that already had him making plans for their future. "I checked every guide, Patrol or otherwise, twice - just in case I missed anything the first time. The rules that exist are more of sexual harassment policies addressing things like misconduct while on the job and sexual relationships between superiors and their subordinates for all of the obvious reasons. I went beyond that and found that a lot of agencies have dismissed no-fraternization policies in favor of more comprehensive sexual harassment policies. And in some places where they have the no-fraternization rules, they don't hold up in court." Jamie had been diligent in his research - a specialty of his throughout law school and his short legal career. Having hours to kill yesterday afternoon when Eddie was unexpectedly called back to the 12th by the burrough shooting team to dot some I's and cross some T's on the Sorrento shooting, he'd taken advantage to play a hunch and confirm what the rules really were in terms of partnerships.

Before then, they'd spent the night and morning languishing in their newfound intimate relationship. It had been hard to go their separate ways, but they promised to see each other as soon as Eddie was done with work and they had not left each other's side since.

"If they trust us to have guns, they should trust us to date who we want," Eddie grumbled as she flung the policy handbook back on the coffee table next to various other NYPD guidebooks Jamie researched the day before. "And I'm warning you buddy, there will be no misconduct to be had between us on the job. Never do I feel more unsexy than when I'm in that uniform," she mumbled, turning to lay her head on his chest.

Jamie chuckled and kissed her forehead. "You don't look like a 10 year old boy, Janko," he assured her referencing an old joke, "but I agree, we aren't going there." This new thing between them was going to be scrutinized by all, especially everyone at the department and he wasn't going to give people any reason to question their personal relationship or their work partnership.

"Anyway, we're both of equal rank, so that's another thing we don't have to worry about," he added.

Eddie perked up at his comment, taking an opportunity to address something that had been on her mind recently, ever since an unexpected meeting with the PC. "For now," she commented.

Jamie frowned, eyeing Eddie when she sat up to address him.

"What about the sergeant's exam?" she asked carefully.

The frown remained on Jamie's face, wondering if she'd had any other conversations with his father. But he knew better than to think she would keep something like that from him, she certainly hadn't after her first detour up to the 14th floor while visiting a friend at 1PP. Although it seemed that his father had managed to trigger her curiosity on that issue.

"Just hear me out, babe," Eddie urged gently, hoping it wasn't too sensitive a topic to bring up now. Luckily for her, his expression softened at the unexpected term of endearment and it gave her the green light to continue. "You should take it, Jamie. We both should."

Jamie began to shake his head, but Eddie continued before he could voice his objections. "There's no guarantee that either of us will have our number called if we take and pass the test, but even if we do, there's hardly a chance we'd fill a spot in our same house - we'd go where we're assigned. And then there wouldn't be any issues with superior/subordinate conflicts anyway," she argued. Eddie didn't know where her career was headed, but she figured she might as well get in line for any chance at advancement. She knew from her brief meeting in the PC's office a few weeks back that he too believed that his youngest should sit for the exam. And she agreed with him. Eddie thought Jamie would make an excellent sergeant and it would allow him to remain on the streets which he loved so much. She too couldn't understand his refusal to take the exam. Eddie hoped that she wasn't the reason, that it wasn't his effort to maintain their work partnership. As much as she wanted to remain his partner, she also looked forward to some type of career advancement one day and she understood that it would mean not riding with Jamie everyday. But now? Now they had a personal relationship and she had no doubt that they'd be together for the rest of their days. "Just think about it," she requested.

Jamie had no way out, not when he was sitting here with Eddie in his lap giving him her sweetest puppy dog eyes. He couldn't honestly say why he didn't want to take the test...to go against his dad, maybe? To stay with Eddie for as long as she'd be on patrol? Maybe he did love being on the streets just as much as he'd repeatedly told his father, brother and grandfather. But there was little he could deny her now or even before they'd taken their relationship to this whole new level and he loved that she was thinking of his future as well as hers. So he agreed. "I'll think about it, Ed. I promise."

Eddie beamed at him. It wasn't a yes, but at least he'd consider it. That's all she wanted to hear. And with all of the study help he was giving her, she knew he'd be ready to sit for the test if he decided to take it in the end. "But 'til then, if we can stay together, I'm in," she said, wanting to assure him that her plan was to remain his partner for as long as it was allowed. She sealed that promise with a kiss.

Since Eddie had been brave enough to address that issue with him, Jamie figured it was his turn to do the same. He peeked at the time on corner of the late morning news cast airing on the television and decided it was now or never. Otherwise, he was going to risk being late again.

"So, ah, I gotta get ready soon and head over to my dad's for dinner," he said. He'd been late or close to it each of the last few weeks and had been ordered to arrive on on time today by his grandfather with not so subtle hints from his siblings to get to the family home early for kitchen duty.

"Oh. Well, duty calls, I guess," Eddie joked to hide the disappointment that now sat in the pit of her stomach with the announcement of his impending departure. A part of her wanted Jamie to take her to the legendary Sunday dinner, to announce to the family that they were together, to know that this thing between them was not going to be kept under wraps to avoid upsetting the Reagan clan - namely their boss. They'd been holed up in both their apartments and even with his research into the fraternization rules, she worried that he'd want to keep their relationship a secret.

Another part of her was frightened to sit at the big family dinner with all of the Reagans. The PC had been kind enough to her recently and Erin and Nicky were friendly. And Danny? Danny Reagan just seemed like a grumpy old teddy bear to her. But meeting each separately was very different than sitting at a table with the whole clan eyeballing the newcomer.

Jamie gave her a small smile before glancing down at his hands. "Well, I figured that since we're together now...well, I don't want to live separate lives anymore."

Eddie was confused. "What do you mean Jamie?" They were together all the time until it was time to go….oh. Her eyebrows shot up at what she thought he was implying. "Do you want to move in together?" Eddie questioned with wide eyes.

Jamie took both her hands in his and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. He hadn't been certain where he was taking this conversation when he started it, but before he knew it, impulse took over and he was asking for what he wanted most in the whole world.

"Marry me."

And with that, another plan began to form in Jamie's head.

Eddie felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. It seemed like an eternity before she could find her voice.

All the while, Jamie waited patiently, knowing he had surprised the hell out of her. But he was hopeful that she was ready to stay on this wild ride with him.

When she could breathe again, she said, "Jamie...I don't know what to say. I mean, shouldn't we should date first? I thought you meant we should live together or something." Eddie kept repeating his words in her head. Could she see herself married to Jamison Henry Reagan? Abso-freaking-lutely! But she wasn't expecting him to pop the question 36 hours after they finally decided to declare their love for each other and consummate the relationship.

"That's what we've been doing for the past 4 years, Eddie. People date to get to know each other and see if they're a match. We already know each other inside and out," he asserted. Why wait? It took them so long to get here and they'd done everything together that most couples do when dating.

Well...except for the really fun stuff.

Eddie's vision blurred. She was losing count of how often he'd brought her to tears over the past few days. "Oh, Jamie," she sighed, her breath catching in her throat.

"You're it for me, Eddie. There's no one else I'd ever want to be with," he declared. Jamie looked down at her hands, sadly wishing he'd waited and planned this out when he had something to place on her finger. "I don't have a ring to give you right now," he said, thinking of his mother's ring and whether his dad would let him have it again. He didn't think he could give Eddie the same exact ring that he'd proposed to Sydney with, but maybe he could have the stone reset. "I'm sorry, honey. I wasn't expecting to propose to you, but being with you here, I couldn't help myself. It feels right, Eddie. We've wasted so much time. I want you to be my wife." She deserved to be wined and dined and to be given grand proposal. He wanted to give her the world.

 _I'd spend the 5 million on you._

But right now, all he could give her was his heart.

Eddie was still at a loss for words, but the tears fell from her eyes and her heart was screaming, _YES_ _!_

Jamie prayed that bearing his soul could make up for his impulsiveness, at least temporarily. This wasn't normally his way or, at least, it hadn't been the way he'd proposed to Sydney. With Sydney, there was a lot of thinking and soul searching before he decided he was finally ready to ask for her hand. Maybe that was the problem and the reason why things didn't work in the end. But thank God for that. What he had with Eddie went far beyond what he ever had with Sydney. He didn't need to think about whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he just knew that he did. "What I can share with you right now are the things I swear to you, not only in marriage, but to keep us good partners on the job."

And the surprises just kept coming from him today. "Wait, hold up! Do you mean like vows!? You already have vows!?" she shot back in disbelief.

Jamie smiled brightly as a blush rose upon his face. He was ready to admit to her that he'd thought about what he would say to her one day, if he ever had the nerve to be honest with her and be lucky enough to make her his wife. But he also recalled her words. "I dare you tell me that you've never thought about it, Janko," Jamie dared, eyes narrowing as one particular moment replayed in his mind. "I remember you being in this very apartment once...that night you jumped me."

"I did not jump you! Jerk!" Eddie laughed as she attempted to pull her hands from his. Her cheeks turned bright pink as she too recalled that impulsive kiss. It did nothing but make her want more of what she could not have.

But Jamie held firm, laughing heartily with her before turning serious again. "You said that you had feelings for me for a long time," he said while looking intently into her eyes. "That I was the best person you'd ever met….that I was your best friend." He paused as he remembered that night over one year ago and wished he had the courage to do this then.

"You always gotta remember everything, don't you?" Eddie accused lightly.

"I've felt those same things for you, Eddie," he continued, "and have always thought about the promises I'd make to you given the chance."

Eddie looked away embarrassed, but secretly pleased the she wasn't alone. She should have known though, that with Jamie she was never alone. She didn't need prompting, because the words came so easily to her. "I will always have your back," Eddie promised, squeezing his hands so that he'd go next.

"If you fall behind, I'll wait up," he pledged.

And so they went, taking turns to reveal their solemn vows to one another.

"I'll earn your respect and pay you respect every day we have."

"I'll be your scout, your night watchman, your calvary."

"Your medic, your chaplain in our army of two."

Jamie couldn't help but smile as he said, "No retreat, no surrender."

Eddie threw her head back in laughter as countless conversations about all the things they had in common and favorites they shared came to mind. "Nice touch, Jamie. Springsteen will seal the deal for you every time."

They stared at each other before Jamie made his final vow. "You can count on me."

"And you can count on me," Eddie repeated softly.

"So...I guess that's a 'yes?'" Jamie smiled.

"YES!" Eddie nodded enthusiastically as she launched herself into his arms. "YES!"

"I want the world to know, Eddie," Jamie declared as his heart soared. But it wouldn't be official without a kiss.

 _And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why Jamie and the future Mrs. Jamison Reagan were late to Sunday Dinner._

 _Fin._

* * *

 _Many thanks to werks for taking a look at this so quickly! Hopefully this the the first of more to come. :)_


	2. Sunday Dinner

_Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who reviewed and I apologize for not getting back to each of you. Instead, I was inspired by your reviews to write another chapter to this story - my take on what happened after the music played us out of that epic dinner scene._

Sunday Dinner

"So," Danny began as he spread a linen napkin across his lap. "You two are really getting hitched," he smiled as he eyed the newly-engaged couple sitting across the table. This last year had been tough, tougher than anything he had ever faced in his life. Grief gets easier with time, they say. Well, Danny wasn't so sure about that. The past year had done nothing to fill the void left by Linda's death and sometimes it felt bigger than ever. There were constant reminders of that lurking around every corner - in Jack's forced smile and Sean's sad eyes, the dark and lonely house he'd come home to when the boys were gone, doing what they needed to do to get through their own pain, he identified with victims who'd lost a spouse and felt like he'd been punched in gut with each innocent - and sometimes not so innocent - reference to his wife when others noted the wedding band he refused to slip off his finger. Even having the same number of family members sitting on either side of the dinner table on Sundays brought him down.

That was until today.

Danny felt like he had something to smile about. It might not be Linda sitting between him and the boys, but his brother was finally allowing himself to be truly happy, a chance to have what he once had. It was something that he'd been denying himself for far too long. Jamie had found his soulmate and there was no way he could be anything but happy for the kid.

"Yup," Jamie grinned back, relieved to see the genuine smile on his oldest brother's face. It had been a while since he'd seen Danny like this. He'd been nervous about announcing his and Eddie's engagement to the family. Well, maybe not to Erin; she'd been telling him to get his head out of his ass for the past 4 years. But Jamie worried that his father - like so many others - might first assume that they had been engaging in a personal relationship during the time that they'd been partnered up together, long before they announced their engagement, which was why Renzulli's accusations years ago after defending his partner during a domestic call immediately came to mind. And that wasn't even delving into his father's - and boss's - disapproval when it came to their plan to continue to ride together now and after they were married. Jamie glanced over to his left as he reached for the salad bowl, seeing his father's lips pressed into the same, tight line.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

But his main concern was coming in here and announcing their engagement to his brother, worrying how he would take it, if he would feel like they were throwing their own happiness in his face while he was still struggling with the loss of his wife.

"That's crazy," Nicky commented while placing a second slice of roast beef on her grandfather's plate. She too could see that her grandpa wasn't fully on board with her uncle's plans, but hopefully they could all help prevent any more awkwardness during dinner. Nicky liked Eddie. She was a good match for her Uncle Jamie and after Aunt Linda's death, it was going to be nice to have another female in the family, one that would give every Reagan male a run for their money. Yup, she would fit into this family just fine.

Erin scooped a few roasted potatoes onto her plate, but not before serving Eddie first. She could feel the tension rolling off her father in waves, but she - just like her very intuitive daughter - would do all she could to welcome Eddie into the family and make her first Sunday dinner an enjoyable experience. "It's about time," she smirked at the pair before she passed the potatoes to her father with another pointed glare which, of course, went ignored. Erin had no doubt that he was happy for her brother, but the job always seemed to get in the way somehow, didn't it?

Henry handed the wine to Jack so that he could fill his uncle's empty glass. "Hey, that royal wedding is next weekend, isn't it?" he asked in an attempt to keep the mood light. He loved his son, but at this moment he was incapable of masking his feelings and Henry had a growing desire to put him in his place. Jamie and Eddie looked happy, but they had a hell of a battle ahead of them if they really planned to stay partners on the job, even if they were right about there being no fraternization rules to be broken. But right now wasn't the time to burst their bubble. Now was the time to celebrate.

"So?" Sean replied, wondering about the odd segway into more marriage talk before stuffing a roll into his mouth.

"Oh, yeah," Erin confirmed, recognizing exactly where her grandfather was going with this.

Henry smirked at the lovebirds while filling his own plate. "You two can pick up some tips for your own big day," he joked.

Eddie shot Jamie a look of dread before laughing out loud. "Ha! Hardly!"

"Oh, sure you can! Come on, you can scope out frilly dresses and spiffy tuxes and fancy horse drawn carriages," Danny added brightly. "Picture it, Jamie in his dress blues, white gloves and service cap, with you by his side in a big poofy dress, waving at the crowds as you're led down 5th Avenue by a team of majestic clydesdales," he teased while doing a poor imitation of a proper royal wave.

"That sounds like a bad beer commercial," Jamie snorted as he reached under the table to gently squeeze Eddie's thigh in support. She might as well get used to his family's teasing right from day one.

Frank remained silent, carefully piling the food onto his plate as the conversation continued. Stuffing his mouth with food would help keep him from saying anything to damper the mood at the table. And avoid his father's sharp looks. But he couldn't stop an actual smirk from spreading across his face at the commentary. He could only imagine what Eddie and Jamie would plan for their own nuptials, but he doubted that his very private son would look to have a big affair. And although he did not know Eddie well enough to say for sure that a big, elaborate wedding was out of the question for her, he suspected that they were in agreement on most things.

Except for the sergeant's exam.

"Yeah," Jamie began with a glance at his fiance. "I don't think so," he said. "We're hoping for the opposite of that, actually."

"Opposite?" Nicky prodded, curious as to what was in store for this wedding. She was thrilled at the prospect of seeing it come together.

"Well, we haven't had a chance to really talk about it, but," Jamie started.

"On account of it just happening this morning," Danny interrupted with a sly grin as he waved his fork between the pair. It dawned on him why Jamie and his partner were late for dinner.

"Yeah, uh," Jamie mumbled, feeling a blush rise at his brother's mischievous expression. The guy wasn't a detective for nothing. "We wouldn't be opposed to just eloping," he blurted out in a rush to clear his mind of the day's earlier activities. Eloping would be his first choice. After unexpectedly popping the question, he wanted nothing more than to whisk Eddie off to a justice of the peace.

"Wait, what?" Henry choked on a piece of roast beef.

"You want to elope?" Erin questioned in horror. There was no way he could do this without them!

"No fuss and private," Jamie shrugged with another look at a very nervous Eddie.

She could see their concern at possibly being left out and chose to put their minds at ease. "But we'd want all of you and a few of my family there too," Eddie declared. And by few, she really meant a few. Her father was still locked up and everything that happened with him had left them with very few family members and longtime friends who could separate her and her mother from her father's crimes. And she, like Jamie, wanted a private, no fuss event.

"So when it happens," Jamie nodded, "that would probably be the extent of it - just family."

"We don't want or need a big cupcake dress or a giant church wedding," Eddie chimed in shyly as she finally dug into her meal. That was about as far as they had gotten in discussing their future plans, aside from their work partnership, obviously, and they were in complete agreement as to both. Things were going to be tough enough for them in the department, but they were determined to stay together for as long as they could. They didn't need the extra scrutiny for as long as a big, fancy wedding took to plan. Plus, they couldn't wait to begin the rest of their lives together.

"It doesn't need to be a big deal," Jamie added.

"You're getting married. That is a big deal," Frank felt compelled to point out, his eyes never leaving the roll he was over-buttering.

The table grew quiet except for the sound of cutlery squeaking against the china. The family remained disappointed that Frank couldn't be as excited for Jamie and Eddie as they were, even if it was an act.

Jamie eyed his father, wishing for the days when they were in sync, when he agreed with almost every word that came from his wise father's mouth and when he felt like his dad would always back him up. He sighed inwardly as he thought of the conversation he needed to have with him later, if things didn't go completely south before then. "Yes, but we don't want or need any unwanted attention. The kind that comes with any big wedding," he said, pausing to add one more thing, "and especially because of our family name."

Frank nodded at the veiled accusation. "My position," he stated as he lowered the buttered roll onto his plate. Sadly, it seemed like a lot of problems could be traced back to that very same thing.

"It adds a lot more eyes, yes," Jamie affirmed.

Eddie tensed beside him, taken back to when the PC had pulled her into his office for information on her partner - his very own son. She knew while sitting in the plush guest chair on the 14th floor, that there was some kind of discord between father and son. Why else would he question her about Jamie's intentions with the sergeant's exam? And Jamie's reaction when she shared news of the unplanned meeting confirmed as much. But just as she had told the PC, her partner held everything close to the vest and Jamie didn't explain the reason for his father's actions. But they were engaged now and Eddie was determined to make him understand that there was no room for secrets in this relationship anymore.

Frank knew he should have stuffed his mouth full of roast beef when he felt 6 pairs of eyes burning holes into his head, but he wasn't one to hold his tongue. "Not much of a chance of avoiding that. You're going to draw a lot of attention with your union regardless, especially if you're allowed to remain together in a department that's always been against personal relationships between partners. And that's a big if."

Henry sat back in his chair, expecting a heated response from his youngest grandson and wishing he could assure Eddie that her future father-in-law was more of a giant push-over in family settings than he currently seemed. But he was surprised when Jamie spoke, calm and confident as always.

Jamie wasn't taking the bait, not today and not with Eddie taking part in her first family meal. He wasn't 100% certain if it was the announcement of their sudden engagement or their continued partnership that was bothering his father the most. Which ever it was, Jamie wasn't going to ruin the day for him or Eddie. "Well, we can still avoid a lot of it without a big wedding," he said while making direct eye contact with his father.

"So when is the big day?" Erin asked after turning to Eddie. She also sent few silent prayers up to the havens to get them through this meal.

"We haven't gotten that far, but we're hoping for soon," Eddie replied.

"How soon is soon?" Danny questioned.

"This summer," Jamie advised. "As soon as we can figure out the details."

"This summer?" Erin parroted as she noted her father's stiff motions through the corner of her eye. "That is soon."

"How come?" Jack asked.

"Why so soon?" Henry followed out of curiosity.

No one was more surprised than Jamie by who first backed them up. Although, he shouldn't have been.

"Why not?" Danny answered, suddenly feeling the need to support Jamie and Eddie. "They've practically been married for five years already," he said, stabbing his vegetables with a bit more force than necessary as everyone at the table sat motionless. "We all waste too much time sitting around, planning and waiting for things that don't matter. And for what? You two want to get married? I say do it the way you want, when you want, but just do it already." Danny choked down a mouth full of food, pulling the courage to give the couple the best advice he could offer. "And don't take each other or the time you have together on this earth for granted. But it looks like you finally learned that lesson after the Sorrento mess, so good for you two."

Frank studied his oldest long and hard, his heart clenching at the pain in his voice, still fresh and lingering. He and his father could attest to time's healing powers, but that only made the loss of their wives more bearable. It never left them completely. For Danny, it would be a long time before the thought of Linda's passing didn't steal the breath from his lungs.

Frank's expression softened as he snuck glance across the table. He shouldn't deny Jamie and Eddie this moment, their happiness in having really found each other and sharing it with family. But that didn't mean he wouldn't have some concerns. For now, he'd keep those to himself.

"Thanks, Danny," Jamie said around the lump in his throat as he reached for Eddie's hand.

"Yeah, thank you, Danny," Eddie repeated, squeezing it back. Just thinking of everything that could have happened two days ago under the bridge still made her sick. She didn't know what she would have done if she'd lost Jamie and never told him how much she loved him. Or to hear those words from him. She was done wasting time and didn't care if a speedy wedding got the gossips talking more than they already did.

"Yeah. We're ready. Why wait?" Jamie reiterated as they returned to their meals.

Erin smiled, pleased to finally see Jamie going after what he really wanted. "That's what I kept wondering," she commented, and turned to Eddie once again. "Do you know how many times I've told him to do it already?"

"Erin," Jamie warned.

"Really?" Eddie smirked, ready to torture her fiance a bit. "We'll have to talk later."

"Let's do that," Erin agreed.

"Please don't," Jamie begged as a smile spread across his face.

The mood was light again except for the dark cloud that hung over one end of the table.

* * *

 _And there's one more chapter to come after this one, thanks to werks! :)_


	3. The Talk

The Talk

Jamie lurked near the doorway to the den where his father currently sat hunched over a neat stack of papers atop the antique rolltop desk he and his mother had inherited from her grandparents. To anyone else, Frank Reagan appeared focused on the documents before him, possibly analyzing the latest crime reports or attempting to solve some major conflict within the department. But Jamie knew better. First, his father wasn't wearing a much needed pair of reading glasses, instead they sat forgotten on the desk next to his right hand. Second, never would his father choose to huddle down in front of the old, compact mahogany desk, much too small for his broad 6'4" frame. That was why his mother had always claimed it as her workspace for household bills and such while his father always chose to park himself at the larger kitchen table, preferring to spread his work out across the wide table top while enjoying the company of his family in the heart of the family home.

However, that same workspace was currently occupied by the same family that Frank was looking to avoid.

His father was lost in thought, no doubt centering around him and a certain petite blonde officer who'd already playfully referred to him as "dad." _This is going to be tougher than I thought_ , Jamie sighed to himself. He never expected that this was going to be easy, especially after experiencing his father's mood at dinner. But then his father had scurried off to the den while the rest of the family rolled into the kitchen to clean up, the conversation flowing seamlessly with the newest member of the clan as easily as if she'd always been a Reagan.

Jamie had been tempted to stay in the kitchen with them, especially when Danny and Erin threatened to share his most embarrassing adolescent tales. But instead of remaining there to prevent that sort of torture (although the likelihood success was not in his favor), Jamie chose to slip away quietly to the back of the house and deal with his father privately, leaving Eddie to delight in the storytelling, knowing that she would be in good hands while he was gone.

Jamie closed his eyes and prepared himself, things might be really bad when his father had yet to acknowledge his presence - it was nearly impossible to sneak up on the ex-detective.

Jamie knocked softly against the doorway, hoping not to startle the older man. "Can we talk?" he asked when his attempt failed and his startled father swiftly turned his head.

"I think we should," Frank nodded, pushing away the long-forgotten paperwork on the desk. He sat back against the creaking desk chair and waited quietly as Jamie situated himself across from him.

"I, uh," Jamie hunched forward from his perch at the end of the loveseat, wringing his hands nervously as he broached the first of many topics, "I wanted to ask you something."

Frank nodded, pressing his lips tightly. So far he'd only been good at saying the wrong things today and if Jamie was here to speak to him about his behavior, he planned to hear him out before he explained himself.

"About mom's ring," Jamie began, uncertain if it was even something he should consider for so many reasons, the first being because his father didn't seem to be completely on board with his and Eddie's union.

Frank's brows arched slightly. He wasn't expecting that to come up but he understood what Jamie was asking. "You want to give it to Eddie."

Jamie's head bobbed up and down as he drew in a deep breath. "Kind of. It wouldn't feel right giving her the same ring I proposed to Sydney with," he explained. Clearly he had not been prepared to propose to Eddie, but even if he had, his mom's ring would have played a part in it in some way.

"You're probably right about that," Frank agreed with a tight smile. He thought of the simple, solitaire engagement ring that now sat tucked away in a small safe upstairs and the way Mary had treasured it and worn it so proudly everyday of their married lives. He also remembered passing it onto his youngest after graduating from law school, assuring him that his mother would have wanted him to propose to his future wife with it and seeing the sentimentality in Jamie's eyes in having such a treasure bestowed upon him. Frank also recalled the utter sadness on Jamie's face when he returned it to him, not long after Sydney had left for London.

"But, uh, I was thinking that if you were okay with it...I mean, if you still wanted to pass it down to one of us, that I could have mom's stone put in a new setting," Jamie said while trying to read his father. "It wouldn't be the exact ring mom wore but it would still be part of her that I could give to Eddie."

"I see," Frank stalled, searching for the right response. But in the end the old detective couldn't help himself and sought some answers of his own. "I guess your proposal really was as unexpected as you made it seem. You didn't plan it out at all?" he asked, wondering how long the pair had been involved.

"Nope," Jamie replied, sensing that Frank Reagan was fishing. But if he wanted answers, he'd get them. Jamie wasn't going to hold back.

"And you're sure about this? About marrying Eddie?" Frank knew he risked striking a nerve with that question, but he didn't want to see Jamie race into marriage without thinking it through first.

Frank was right.

Jamie bit his tongue to avoid saying something he might regret later. It was one thing for his father to continually question his career path, but he didn't want him or anyone to ever question his commitment to Eddie. He wondered if his father trusted him to make any decisions about his own life. Or did he think he was rushing through this to make up for the last time he got dumped by his fiance?

But Jamie didn't want to argue about this, not with Eddie in the house. So he laid it out in a way that left no room for doubt. "About as sure as you were about marrying mom," he answered confidently.

Frank's expression softened as they always did at the mention of his late wife. "I had no doubts about marrying your mom," he confirmed.

"And I have no doubts about marrying Eddie, dad," he reiterated, his tone warning Frank that nothing good would come from arguing that point.

Frank locked eyes with Jamie, his message coming through loud and clear. He slouched forward, saddened by this rocky patch they'd hit. He knew there was a way to fix this and it had to start with him. "Jamie...things between us lately have been," Frank paused not knowing how to word it. "I don't know. Strained?"

"That's one way of putting it," Jamie sighed.

Frank stared at his son with a fond smile. "You were always our easy child," he said. With Danny and Erin as first and second born, he and Mary had their work cut out for them. Joe, and then especially Jamie, had been much easier to raise, which made them wonder if that was because of practice with their more stubborn children or that they were just too worn out by the time Jamie came along to fight every little battle.

But no, Jamie was different, an old soul - smart, perceptive, patient, thoughtful and always considerate of others. "You were always calm and willing to listen. It didn't take much to make you see reason. You weren't one to rock the boat," he continued.

Jamie's head snapped up, those descriptions irritating him. "Maybe that's the problem, dad," he snapped.

"What do you mean?" Frank questioned, surprised by Jamie's sharp reply.

"I always went with the flow, didn't I? I went with what everyone else wanted, what was best for the group or what everyone else thought was best for me," he listed. It's how he was usually labeled, right? Thoughtful Jamie, the good son, always walking a straight line… and maybe that was who he was sometimes - it had been instilled in him from a young age. But that began to change when he became a cop.

"Harvard," Jamie blurted out in frustration when his father's eyes remained on him, waiting for an explanation. If there was one glaring example of something he'd done despite knowing it wasn't what he wanted, just because it was what others thought was best for him, that was it. It was what his mom wanted for him and he'd gone through 3 years of law school and was on the fast-track to a high profile position before leaving it all to become a beat cop.

But he deflated as soon as that word came out of his mouth and saw the hurt flash across his father's face. He couldn't lay blame for any of their problems on his mother. He'd done it for her, but he had free will and he was an adult when those choices were made. They were only his to bear. "I don't know what I'm even saying right now. I don't blame her for taking a detour on my way to becoming a cop. Hell, I should be grateful, I might not have met Eddie if I'd started the force years before I did. But the choices that I'm making in my life right now are because they're what's right for me and make me happy. I need to do what's best for me. For us, now that I got Eddie."

Frank recognized that Jamie wasn't a child anymore. He was a very capable, intelligent and responsible young man as well as a highly trained NYPD officer with nine years on the force. But as a parent, he still needed to make sure that his son was making the best possible decisions and it was hard not to guide him when he wasn't taking the right paths. Frank had been questioning that a lot lately, mainly about his career. And now with Eddie, he just needed to know that his judgment wasn't clouded, that there wasn't something else going on that Jamie wasn't telling him. "Is she the reason you won't take the exam?" he asked.

"Again with the damn exam," Jamie exhaled in annoyance.

Frank refused to be deterred and pressed on. "Well, is it?"

"Why would you think that?" Jamie asked. "Do you think this is some grand plan of mine to stay in the car with her forever?"

 _Crap_ , Jamie cursed himself silently. Wasn't that sort of what he was doing?

"That's what you're planning," Frank pointed out, as if reading his mind.

"For now," Jamie responded, looking away from his father's glare. He was preparing himself for what he knew would be a fight to remain Eddie's partner. And even though she was ready to do the same, he also knew that she was her own person with her own plans for the future and he would never hold her back when the time came for her to move on from patrol.

"I worry, Jamie, regardless of whether you're right about not breaking any rules, that even your attempts to stay together on the job will cause you both more trouble than it's worth - put more eyes on you than you want. That this might be a distraction for you both. Your mother might not have wanted you to be a cop, but she would have been more at peace knowing that you're out there thinking straight," Frank argued. It was hard enough being a police officer in a city like New York, or anywhere these days, really, but a personal relationship between partners made it so much more complicated. There was a reason why the rule, whether written or unwritten, was there. And that wasn't even delving into the proverbial can of worms they'd be opening for the rest of the department should they succeed in their attempts to stay together.

"Are you worried about our reputations or afraid that we won't be on our A game? Be sitting in the squad car making googly eyes at each other?" he scoffed. It surprised Jamie how little his father thought of him and Eddie.

"I know you both to be more professional than that," Frank assured him before this turned into an issue of trust. It wasn't about that, although he could see why it was coming across that way. "But it still could be a distraction, cause you to lose sight of what's lurking around the corner or lead you to unnecessarily put yourself in greater harm's way to save her."

"Isn't that what a good partner does anyway, commissioner?" Jamie smirked.

"You know what I mean, Jamison," Frank snapped, missing the days when the kids knew better than to come back with their smart remarks. "Emotions get in the way, Jamie. People are also going to talk, question when all of this started. Your boss will separate you both and when you fight back, look to the PC's office for guidance, but I can't get involved."

"Then don't. We don't want you to either," Jamie shook his head, ready to share a little of his history with Eddie to make a point. "But do you know when Erin first called me out for having feelings for Eddie?"

"I do not," Frank said as he sat back in the chair. The commissioner part of him was afraid of what he might hear next.

"It was right after our first year riding together...about four years ago now. I went to Erin to complain about my partner," Jamie started, conveniently leaving out the part about how he'd ended up at Erin's office because Renzulli accused him of the very same thing. His father didn't need to know _everything_ about them, including the two kisses they'd shared before making it official a few days ago. "I denied it every which way I could, told her she was crazy, but she was right...which is so annoying on so many levels." Leave it to his sister to point out what he was too scared to see at first.

"I had feelings for Eddie back then that I tried to put aside. I really did, dad. I even limited our time together to work hours, but that didn't last long because it was done. I was in love with her." Jamie spoke softly, staring across the room as their 5 year partnership flashed across his mind. "But I kept my mouth shut and those feelings locked up inside because I was afraid she didn't feel the same way and I sure as hell didn't want to screw up the best partnership I'd ever had."

Even when he knew the feelings were mutual, he refused to budge, valuing their work partnership more than the happiness a romantic relationship would bring them both. "She was doing the same thing too, but we still managed to watch each other's backs out there everyday, call bullshit when one of us needed to be put in our place and lead the precinct in felony collars." Jamie focused back on his father. "That's not bragging, dad. It's just the facts. And people have been talking about us for years when nothing was going on. No one can put a stop to the gossips, you know that."

Frank couldn't argue with that or maybe he didn't want to, not when Jamie was being so honest with him.

"So while we're both still on patrol, we plan to ride together. And we'll deal with it. As for Eddie, she has her own dreams, her own plans regardless of what I might do, to take the test and maybe become a sergeant if detective never happens for her. She doesn't plan to be a beat cop for the rest of her life and I respect that. I'm proud of her for wanting those things."

"And you?" Frank asked gently. Maybe he just needed to hear it from Jamie one last time for it to finally sink through his thick, Irish skull. "You don't want more?"

The frustration returned full force. He couldn't count the number of times he had this conversation with various members of the family already. "I have all that I want or need right now. It's something you - all of you - don't get. I'm not you, or gramps, or Danny. Hell, I'm not even Joe. I love what I do, where I am. Why can't you get that? Why can't that be enough for you?"

"It's not that it isn't, Jamie. I'm proud of you, son. I am, of everything you do," he stressed. It wasn't his intention to have Jamie doubt him. "It's just that...I see so much potential in you. As a parent, it's impossible not to want your kids to do better in life. I want all of you to succeed and do more with your lives than I ever did with mine," he explained.

"Seriously?" Jamie chuckled, finding it amusing that his father was forgetting one important fact. "Hate to point this out, dad, but you're the freaking police commissioner. Can't go any higher in the department."

"You got a point there," Frank nodded as his expression relaxed. It wasn't what he meant, but the kid had him on that one.

"And no offense, I don't want to wear that hat."

"I don't blame you. There are days I don't either. But that's not what I meant."

A small, insecure part of Jamie wondered if it was his father's position and only being able to tell people that his youngest son was just a patrol officer after 9 years with the department that was causing this friction between them. "I wouldn't have expected you of all people to look down on beat cops," he said with a tinge of sadness.

Frank's brow furrowed at the accusation. "You know I don't! You're the first line of defense out there, your job is one of the most important jobs in this department," Frank said.

"So why isn't it enough for you?" he repeated.

"It's not that, Jamie," Frank swore, sighing as a memory of one particular Sunday evening came to mind. "I remember like it was yesterday, sitting at that kitchen table trying to get through paperwork when you came to me, wondering why you hadn't gotten a gold shield after four years on the job. You wanted to make detective. Do you remember that?" But Frank was laser focused on Jamie's desire to make detective more than the reason why that had not happened for him.

Jamie studied his hands remembering that moment as well. When he came on to the job, he longed to make detective everyday. He was certain it would happen for him and he used his brothers and father as a barometer, believing he'd be a detective by the time he was through his third year on the force. When that didn't happen, he doubted himself at first, but then he realized what the real problem was. And so had his father, especially after he threw him a bone and had him work an old case with sensitive, political ramifications.

After Jamie closed the Michelle Lowe case, they never discussed that again. It appeared to have been forgotten as far as his father was concerned, or it relieved his guilt.

"So is this sergeant's exam your way of righting a wrong without a hook?" Jamie asked, wondering if the guilt was back.

"No," Frank claimed immediately shaking his head at the accusation before it dawned on him. All of this pushing and frustration with where Jamie's career was heading - or where it wasn't, for that matter - it _was_ because of him. He hadn't forgotten Jamie's knowing expression that afternoon either, the one he gave him before Nicky returned to the kitchen and interrupted their conversation...

" _Dad, how long was it before you made detective?" Jamie asked as he walked across the kitchen, nervously drying his hands on a towel._

" _Three years," Frank responded automatically as he continued his paperwork._

" _Danny made it in three and a half," Jamie stated._

 _Still engrossed in his work, Frank missed the disappointment on his son's face, joking instead, "Good genes."_

" _Guess I didn't get them," Jamie commented with a tentative smile._

 _It was the tone that caught his attention and Frank looked up into his son's face, silently questioning his comment._

" _Been on patrol for four years now," Jamie reminded him._

 _His brow furrowed in confusion….how could that be? "Four years? Seems like you just graduated the academy," he said. Wasn't it just yesterday that he saw his youngest in his dress blues for the first time?_

 _Jamie's expression spoke volumes and Frank knew what he was thinking without saying a word. "You think something's holding you back?" Frank queried, afraid of asking the right question - you think_ I'm _holding you back?_

 _Jamie shrugged, as if not wanting to lay the blame on his father, but they both knew the answer to that question._

That was what he was doing. He was looking for a way for Jamie to advance without it looking like the commissioner had pulled any strings. Frank froze at his own realization, his eyes widening when it explained so much about his frustrations with Jamie lately. And those frustrations had led him to react poorly to his and Eddie's news. "I don't know….maybe it is, son," Frank admitted sadly. However, the fact still remained that Jamie was qualified for the job. He deserved it, although he had to take the test first. "I thought it was what you wanted. What happened to wanting that gold shield?"

Jamie pursed his lips shrugged his shoulders. "I accepted the fact that certain doors were closed to me. Hell, they all were until you finally set a date for the sergeant's exam. But it's like you said, patrol is one of the most important jobs in the department. The longer I've been on the streets, the more I know that to be true. I get to help people, maybe have a chance to stop bad things from happening instead of showing up after they already did. I said it before and I mean it, there's no place else I'd rather be. I need you to understand that."

Somehow, Frank finally did. It wasn't up to him to tell his son what to do, all he could offer was sound advice and show him the path. If he chose not to take it, that was okay, all that mattered was that he was happy with his choice. That was all that Frank wanted for his kids - for them to be safe and happy.

His youngest son was a beat cop and he hoped every one of his patrol officers had the same qualities he admired in him. Franked smiled and nodded, "I do."

Jamie did the same, feeling lighter than when he'd walked into the den.

The smile remained on Frank's lips, as he turned the subject back to their guest of honor. "So...you and Eddie, huh?" Frank might have seen it coming, what with the jokes Erin and Danny would make here and there about Jamie and his partner, but he didn't realize he'd been harboring feelings for her for so long.

"Yeah," Jamie beamed, unable to hold back the joy it brought him.

"Nothing ever…," Frank hedged, not wanting to go into specifics on any aspect of their partnership, but most were going to find it hard to believe that they suddenly woke up one day and decided to get married.

"Not until 2 days ago," Jamie confirmed.

Frank pursed his lips, understanding how it all came about now. "With the shooting." He stood corrected, they did wake up one day and decide to get married. It just took a terrible event to make them realize they loved each other all along.

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "Eddie saved my life, dad. And it took a bullet whizzing by my head to make me see how stupid I've been, wasting all this time when we don't know how much we really have left."

Frank grimaced at the bullet reference, not wanting to ever hear that his children had the misfortune to be in such a position again.

"I love her. I know her better than I know myself," Jamie confessed.

"And vice versa, it seems," Frank said.

"She does," Jamie agreed, still amazed by how she'd been there for him. "I still don't know how she knew about Sorrento, she knew even before I did."

"Sometimes when you have a connection with someone, they have a sixth sense about you," Frank replied.

"Is that the way it was with you and mom?" Jamie asked. His parent's marriage is what he and Eddie would strive to have.

Frank sat back in the chair, relaxed and content. "There were tough days on the job, some close calls...this was before we were all slaves to our cell phones. And there were times when I'd get back to the precinct and I had a message waiting for me from your mom, checking in to make sure I was OK," he shared. "Somehow she always knew."

Frank smiled and thought back to Jamie's first question, there was only one answer to give. "Your mom would want Eddie to have her ring, in any way you want to give it to her. You can take it with you tonight or come back for it when Eddie's not with you."

"Are you sure?" Jamie asked, having forgotten about the ring since they started this conversation.

"Yes. She'd want you to have it and so would I," Frank confirmed as he stood up and offered Jamie his hand, surprising his son when he pulled him in for hug. "I am happy for you both," he said.

"I know you are, dad," Jamie croaked, feeling a second weight lifted off his shoulders.

But the tender moment moment was suddenly broken by a cacophony of laughter echoing throughout the house.

"Oh, no," Jamie groaned into his father's shoulder. He knew what had been going on in the other room while he'd been busy ironing things out with his dad.

"What's the matter?" Frank asked while pulling away from Jamie.

"I left Eddie in the kitchen," he mumbled with a look of regret.

"And," Frank pressed.

"I left her with Danny and Erin," he clarified. If there was one thing he knew his fiance would revel in, it was an opportunity to gather dirt to tease him with. And what better way was there to do that than to get intel on him that his siblings were all too willing to give.

That was all Frank needed to understand the problem. "Ahh. And no buffer," he smiled, placing an arm around Jamie's shoulders while leading him to the heart of the house. "Well, son, you say she knows you inside and out, but I suppose that's not exactly true. If you're going to be married, it's time that she learned how you came to be the man she fell in love with," he teased.

"That's not funny," Jamie pouted.

"It kind of is," Frank laughed as they walked down the hall to the kitchen where the family was gathered around the island. The leftovers lay forgotten while, they were all too busy giggling at the tale being shared by his oldest son.

"The kid was horrified!" Danny cracked-up. "His eyes were as big as saucers when he came home and our mother didn't know how to answer his questions."

"It was classic," Erin snickered, recalling the day clearly.

"Whatever you're talking about, stop it," Jamie ordered, narrowing his eyes at his brother and sister as he came to a stop next to Eddie.

Eddie reached around his waist just as Jamie did the same to her. "No, way, Reagan. I'm learning so much about you right now," she stated with a twinkle in her eye. She was enjoying the sibling camaraderie, it was different than the way she had grown up as an only child.

"See? What did I tell you?" Frank patted Jamie on the back as he passed him on his way to the liquor cabinet. It wasn't lost on the rest of the family, Eddie included, that the pair had seemed to work out some of their issues, something they were all happy to see.

"What are you even talking about?" Jamie inquired, eyeballing the main troublemaker of the group.

"How little Jamie Reagan learned about the birds and the bees at the tender age of 8," Danny repeated for the newcomers, earning himself another round of giggles.

"Oh, Lord," Jamie sighed. "We should get going, Eddie," he whispered into his partner's ear hoping to put an end to this. But all he got in return was a nudge to the ribs and a smirk.

Frank turned as he reached for the good bottle of scotch with one hand, spurring Henry to grab plenty of lowball glasses for the adults of drinking age. "I remember that!"

"I think we all do, Francis," Henry snorted as they met back at the island and poured everyone a finger of scotch. He wasn't present that day but the teasing had continued through to the next family meal.

"Who knew a field trip to the zoo could shatter someone's innocence?" Nicky laughed at her uncle's expense.

"And the nuns chaperoning that field trip had what little innocence they had left shattered as well," Erin pointed out.

"They also had no trouble leaving it up to the parents to explain things to their distraught children, that those gorillas weren't actually trying to kill each other that day," Frank said, remembering the conversation with his very flustered wife when he'd called to check in on her and the children during his tour.

"Don't blame those poor women," Henry warned.

"Yeah, you can't blame them. Anyway, the extent of Catholic school sex ed was to tell you to avoid sex until marriage in order to avoid disease and improve your chances of getting into heaven. They weren't very good at explaining the mechanics," Danny said.

"They still aren't," Sean told them.

"So leave it to big brother Danny to step in and explain things to me," Jamie added before taking a sip from his glass. There was no way out of this now, might as well join in to make sure the storytelling was accurate.

"What was I supposed to do?! Poor Ma didn't want to go there with you either, she left that job to Dad for us boys," Danny explained.

"Which is what you should have done," Frank proclaimed. He and Mary weren't prepared to have that conversation with their youngest son at the age of 8, but they still should have been the ones to explain human sexuality to him instead of their oldest teenage son.

"He kept wanting to call 911, but mom told him that's not what the police handles. Then he insisted she call animal control to save the gorillas! Do you remember that part?" Danny defended himself.

Eddie let out a full belly laugh, thoroughly delighting in hearing this for the first time. "Animal control, Reagan? Seriously?"

"Let's see how you'd interpret _that_ at the age of 8, Janko," he admonished lightly.

"Plus mom was hoping to avoid the whole talk with him anyway. She thought her baby was way too young and innocent to know about those things," Erin added cheekily.

"So how did you get tasked with that and not your dad?" Eddie asked Danny.

"I think Danny was all too eager to traumatize me some more," Jamie stated.

"That's not true! Dad wasn't going to be home for hours. He'd been working this big case and was pulling long tours. I just stepped in to help mom when the kid wouldn't shut up."

"You fixed that, all right. I remember he was near catatonic after you were done with him," Erin said.

"Mom was livid. You got sent to your room and she told you to wait for dad to come home and then she sat me down in the kitchen and force fed me milk and cookies," Jamie laughed at the memory. "I wasn't alone with Danny for that either, Joe was there too. He reworded everything that came out of Danny's mouth to make it less crude."

"I can only imagine sex ed coming from those two teenage boys," Henry chuckled.

"It didn't make things any less disgusting," Erin said, having eavesdropped on the boys' discussion.

"I was 8. I still thought girls were gross," Jamie explained.

"We know you've come a long way from then, haven't you, kid? Now you're getting married," Danny grinned, lifting his glass up toward his little brother and his fiance.

"Yeah," Jamie smiled, raising his glass as well, while hugging Eddie to him.

"Here, here," Frank said as he led the others to join him. He smiled at the young couple, silently wishing them a lifetime of happiness together.

 _The End._

* * *

 _Yup, I think that's all I got for thus one! It's all that I can think is going through Frank's mind as he sat at the dinner table with that giant frown on his face._

 _Thanks again to werks and to Annatheavidreader for her interesting take on Frank's mindset during the finale. Hopefully, this has inspired me enough to tackle some unfinished stories I got tucked away somewhere. :)_


End file.
